What's the difference

between a humorist and a comedian?

Red Card

That'd be a cool name for a soccer apparel company.

Black Scirocco

My friend Brian Jonas from high school had a black Scirocco. He'd scoop me up and drive me to school if he saw me walking. I remember entering the dark interior and settling into the cushy leather while he loudly bumped Cabaret Voltaire and The Toy Dolls. It was a stick and I remember him busily shifting the gears and watching the metallic shaft dart about in its skirt of stitched black leather.

He was incorrectly labelled a "Mod" as were all New Wavers at my school. He also skated and built a half-pipe in his backyard. I couldn't "drop in" as they called it. For you non-skaters, that means to climb to the top of the ramp, and with your front foot on the skateboard, shift your weight forward and descend down the ramp. I tried once and took a hard fall. So thereafter, when it was my turn I would just start in the middle of the ramp and gyrate back and forth to generate speed.

But one time my dad stopped by to say hi and tell me it was time for dinner. One of my buddies said hey, Dan (I went by Dan then), you should try to drop in again for your dad. There was really no way out. I couldn't risk looking like a pussy in front of all my friends and my dad. So I get all the pads on and climb up. Everyone's watching. I drop in and fall into a crumpled mass on the masonite; my skateboard shooting out from under me and up the other side of the ramp.

That was probably one of the most humbling moments of my life. Looking back I've always took solace that my friend wasn't trying to humiliate me--he had faith in me and wanted me to conquer my fear in front of my dad, right?


note: the image you see is a compilation of screen-shots taken of a malfunctioning media player from Huffington Post. I call them digital pap smears.

As Real as It Gets

Has anyone seen this ad for a new rap album around town? I've seen it on huge billboards and buses and I've never even heard of them. I wonder how they're funding their marketing. Another BMF-type enterprise? Just saw the Gangland on BMF (love that show). I had no idea Young Jeezy was affiliated with them.

Am I a bad person for laughing at this?

via Weird Dude Energy.

I don't think it's the same as laughing at Jeri from Facts of LIfe which my friends at the time did. That was fucked up. The thing about this guy is I think he wants you to find it amusing--and he wants you to enjoy the song--and I did both. But ethics aside, he's actually a good singer. I think the beatboxing (is that intentional?) is a nice touch and his mimicry of the Stipester's hand-flutterings is spot-on. Nice job, mate. Why do the Brits love R.E.M. so much?

Frank Rich Is a Great Writer

Check this graf from a recent column about Christine O'Donnell:

The once obscure governor of Alaska was also tripped up by lies and gaffes when she emerged on the national stage, starting with her misrepresentation of her supposed opposition to “the bridge to nowhere.” But she quickly wove the attacks into a brilliant cloak of martyrdom that positioned her as a fierce small-town opponent of the coasts’ pointy-head elites. O’Donnell, like Palin, knows that attacks by those elites, including conservative grandees, only backfire and enhance her image as a feisty defender of the aggrieved and resentful Joe Plumbers in “real America.”

That bolded bit is bonkers. If I could write one sentence as good as that I'd die happy.

SpeakEasy

New start-up offering public speaking classes. You feeling my mock-up for the client?