Deep thoughts by Daniel Merriweather

Given the way Promethean reason imposes itself on the objects it works with, the world it presents to us can be viewed as the product of a vast display of ventriloquism in the which the so-called external world is a dummy...

Actually, Huston Smith gets credit for that line..

Homeless people have senses of humor

Walking out of Safeway with my $7.99 whole roasted chicken in hand, I enter a dark parking lot and realize I'm two short steps behind a man. We're too close. As I slow down to create some space, my brain performs its customary appraisal. He carries a white bucket with a rag and a squeegee in his left hand. He's hardened and weary--the streets are his home. Is he dangerous? Naw. But maybe I should slow up a little more. Struggling between wanting to keep a safe distance and wanting to get home as quickly as possible, my languid stroll comes off as phony. He senses my anxiousness and looks back. I blankly look past him, my strained nonchalance now becoming laughable. As we exit the parking lot onto Bay Street, he looks back again while shouting "Why are you following me?" My first thought is, wow, this guy is dangerous; keep walking, don't respond. Then he says, "I'm just kidding, buddy! Have a good night, man!" He laughed and wanted me to laugh too--but all I could offer was a tense smile. As I walked away I regretted not giving him more. I wanted to turn back and reciprocate with a backslapping belly laugh--you really had me there, buddy! But the moment was lost. Transitioning from fear to laughter that abruptly isn't realistic. Especially with a neck-tattooed stranger at dusk. So if you're out there my man and you read my blog, just know that I got the joke. I didn't laugh then... but I am laughing now!

Sexy Time

Metaphysical Blogging Association

Coolest NBA name: Cuttino Mobley

Metaphysical bombshell

It's been announced that the popular web property, metaphysicalnightcap, is undergoing a change in ownership. Daniel Merriweather, the noted Milwaukee indie-rap scenester (pictured above), has purchased a controlling interest in the domain. In addition to the site's redesign, Mr. Merriweather also plans to change MN's moniker to Danielblog. Please note: all further commentary and inquiry will reach Mr. Merriweather, not MN.

We'd like to thank our loyal fanbase for their continued support. To Danielfan, KennethSF, Anyanka, h headi, lardyrevenger, the proctor and anyone else we may have missed: we couldn't have done it without you.

old people are slow

Don't know why this video cracks me up so much. I was waiting for my wife in the car and noticed this old man was walking really slow. It's much more apparent when you the see the two couples enter the frame.

Past Perfect

Whenever I'm on Chestnut St. I always try to stop by Past Perfect--it's a sprawling antique store full of rare items I can scarcely afford, but I always come away with some great photos:

Can't you hear this donkey's voice if he were in a cartoon?



Alien autopsy:






Freaking me out:



Black Moses:







Lil baby piss christ:

I feel naughty

...when I bcc people.

Get out and vote, people!

Bad Advice Even Smart Girls Follow

What's odd about this picture? You guessed it--old folks practicing ballroom dancing at a playground. Pretty weird, eh?

political detox

I think I crossed the line the other day when I found myself reading a piece about Trig, Palin's Down syndrome baby, and how he's grown over the course of the campaign. I even flipped through the accompanying slideshow.

I hate being the unimaginative blogger who posts youtube videos..

..but you gotta watch this one. The most bizarre laugh I've ever heard. Sorry for out-of-synch audio.

No spin zone

It's been a long time since Bill O'Reilly has publicly called out a rapper for offensive lyrics. Because I listen to so much rap music, I've always felt I'd function well as a covert operative for the Factor. I could funnel him lyrics he might not be exposed to like this Nas line:

I carry the cross, if virgin mary had an abortion
I'd still be carried in the chariot by stampeding horses
Had to bring it back to new york
I'm happy that the streets is back in new york
For you rappers, I carry the cross

Nas is claiming he's a martyr for East coast rap which has seen a huge decline in recent years. Can't you see O'Reilly going on and on about this? Then again the Factor isn't terribly concerned with religious issues. Except when that John Kasich clown from Heartland guest hosts. Also, Nas is damn near irrelevant these days. B.O. usually goes after highly visible figures like Ludacris with his 5 million dollar Pepsi endorsement (which, after Bill's ranting, was rescinded) back in '02. Guess I'll have to go buy a Soulja Boy cd.

Here's an everyday middle-of-the-road photo..

I think I needed to make a clean break after the lingerie postings--and get back to the wholesome and folksy Daniel that you all have become accustomed to.

Last one I promise

This is another photo from the Macy's lingerie dept taken while I was waiting for my wife. I had intended it to be a self portrait but when I zoomed in I noticed I surprised another lady. If I'd stuck around any longer I probably would've been arrested. I guess I should try the young men's department next time. Oh wait, that probably wouldn't be cool either.

I've always felt..

.. a little uncomfortable seeing dogs used unwittingly in advertisements. This one's a little different, though. It looks like he knew what he was getting into because he's looking into the camera. It's nice that he got a free bath out of it too.

What are the kids getting into these days?

Any of y'all heard of the new recreational drug DMT? Wikipedia describes what a user might experience:

Several subjects also reported contact with 'other beings', alien like, insectoid or reptilian in nature, in highly advanced technological environments[6] where the subjects were 'carried', 'probed', 'tested', 'manipulated', 'dismembered', 'taught', 'loved' and even 'raped' by these 'beings'....this leads to the idea that the alien abduction phenomenon could be produced by high levels of endogenous DMT in the human body, and that it might be a physiological condition that could pass genetically to the descendants of such people. (see Abduction phenomenon).

I'm officially old now.

not the best idea

for a man to take photos in the lingerie department. But I swear I wasn't being a pervert! I was only trying to pass the time while I waited for my wife. My accidental subject feels otherwise as you can see.

Together in electric dreams

Dov Charney Mondays

Fifteen minutes

My new thing

is going to festivals--or anywhere I can find large crowds and randomly pointing and shooting and seeing what I come up with. Usually it's nothing extraordinary--just average folks going about their business and generally ignoring the camera. Other times I'll come up with a gem like this one. I didn't notice the enormous smile on this woman's face until I zoomed in. Why is she so happy? Probably because she's on vacation and everything's exciting. Her companion is less amused but does appear to be offering me a small morsel of goodwill. Hello, old man!

True tales of psycho chicks who didn't understand the meaning of O-V-E-R

I don't care what anyone says

Brazil is a shitty movie.

He saw me buying granny panties

Who's the biggest mover and shaker in Hollywood?

Michael J. Fox. Ha ha. I made up a joke! You guys can use that one.

So hey, Jonathan Ekman and John Ascher, my two NYC homies, can you still identify this building after I've applied my lil' channel mixer?

Metaphysical--Olympic Edition

As you all know, Metaphysical will be live-blogging Beijing 2008. Thought I'd profile some of the lesser-knowns. Featured here is one of our athletes from a new competition: 1980s Michael Caine impersonations. That's a good look, Ashley. Trademark Michael Caine. Oversized Educating Rita spectacles. How about rounding out the look with an earth-toned, large-knit cardigan (Hannah and Her Sisters) or a pair of Blame it on Rio-Tretorns? You know, like the ones he wore while playing footsie with Michelle Johnson?


Speaking of the Olympics, this logo right here has got to be one of the illest reappropriations I've ever seen:

divorce suppressor windward

caress striate semester? breast, woodard breakpoint.
munson quadrangle wristband caress reclamation glamorous, suppressor
wristband whoa melinda laurence baud.

impregnable durrell.

If nightclubbing has seen a downturn

like everything else, out-of-work DJs should consider focusing on fitness instructors. They could really use some help. This past week I noticed this spin class lady playing Enya, Billy Joel and The Eagles.

btw, Konus makes the best brand of wolf telescopes hands-down. And no, they're not paying me to say that!

Please in ebay in this moment...

many clowns not serious person--please do not buy if not interest. this is not game--mario torelli.

I've noticed...

how those spam email marketers have taken the new tack of fabricating ridiculous headlines to get you to bite. Here are some I got recently:

Beijing Olympics cancelled, moved to Atlanta
Elton John dies in rocket ship
New Yorker cover art portrays Obamas as flag-burning, AK-toting Jihadists

Anyone else have one to share?


photo: Vicky Porter

New revelation: the Scorpions and Rollerball logos are nearly identical

Had to include this:



And this:

Ducky McFarland

I've got a pair of corneal abrasions and three refractive disorders

This dismal economy has got my brain working overtime. I'm gonna get rich or die trying. How about ophthalmological disorder playing cards as my route to riches?

It's that time of the year again...

Stretch out your hammies and lace them trainers up--it's time for the 2008 Metaphysical Marathon. Ebbet's field, 8 am sharp. Be there, people! As you can see this year's logo is inspired by Wimbledon's--rather smart looking--ain't it, mates?

p.s. - This is a pic from last year's race. The red dresses were my homegirl Sofonda Boyz's idea. They won't be required this year.

tell us about some totally cringe-worthy male behavior you've witnessed

Gotta love them SF parks

This here is the Edwards St. Annex park just off Geary near our apartment. Looks a bit like Paris's Luxembourg gardens, no? Thought I'd liven it up a bit with the new Metaphysical logo. You likey?

Skank alert! The beauty trend that makes stars look sooo trashy

You can keep your Tony Robbins, your Tony Littles--you can even keep Susan Powter--I'll take Mark Victor Hansen, thank you. This guy is the real deal, people. Before all those blow-dried, microphone headgear-wearing clowns were prancing around 10k+ auditoriums, Mark was working the smaller, intimate venues and preaching his gospel of "Total Prosperity." He helped me get through my first divorce and make my first million. Get with it and buy the book, nightcap clones!

Humongous erectile organ for Yasensia

Say what?