The Dark Side

I visited the dark side of the internets the other day. No, I didn't stumble on some 8mm-type footage; I entered the online world of the white supremacists. I was reading an article which claimed that interest in these sites has spiked dramatically since Obama took office. A link was provided and I took the bait. Couldn't resist. I won't name the site--don't wanna give 'em any more hits--but man, there are some pissed off racists out there. I usually enjoy hopping on a huffington- or mediamatters-thread and watching as debates devolve into a series of ad-hominem attacks; but Dark Sider threads, despite offering up gorgeous bon mots like this one--Sorry for double
post--my computer must have been created by an African--were a bit too much for my tastes. I wonder though: can one invoke Godwin's law on these sites? Probably not because equating someone to Hitler isn't an insult in their eyes, right? Maybe Mortimer Zuckerman or Alan Dershowitz serves as their Hitler.

I love how these guys always try and frame their cause as being about promoting their European ancestry and culture. If all they wanted was to run around in kilts and make caber tossing an Olympic sport, I'd have no problem with that; but these fuckers need to just come clean and admit it's more about hating black people and railing against the "Jew-run" media.

Aside from all of the white nationalist claptrap, I noticed lots of these d-bags are hardcore conspiracy theorists. There was a huge gallery of images like this one:Happy Monday, peeps!


ps: that's not my Vader graphic--wish it was. I'd give credit to the genius who created it, but I've forgotten which site I pulled it from... :(

Gisele's pregnant! Or so says an unnamed source...

I once had the opportunity to be an unnamed source. I was in college and working a crappy telemarketing job. It was fun though because three of my friends worked there and if you weren't doing well a boss would tell you to go "monitor" someone. This meant you would take a break from soliciting and listen in on someone who was doing better. This was right when the Jerky Boys hit and we would take on these Frank Rizzo- or Sol Rosenberg-type voices when we were being monitored.

There were a bunch of interesting people who worked there. I forget his name but there was this really charismatic black dude fresh out of jail who was the highest-earning caller at one point. They were really big on publicizing the stats and rankings of each caller. The only way you could make more than 6 bucks an hour was to have a high enough dollar to call ratio which would place you on the "grid" as they called it. I think I managed to stay on the grid for like 2 or 3 shifts. I wasn't terribly motivated. Anyhow, it turned out the high-earner guy was completely fabricating his stats. He was in cahoots with the "verifier" who agreed to verify his phony gifts and credit card numbers. They were both fired shortly thereafter. Real brain trust those two were... not sure why they thought this was a sustainable racket.

There was also a bunch of punk rockers who worked there. These were the O.G.-type punk rockers. Not those skinny-jean scenesters you see today. These kids were squatters and Food Not Bombs activists; more into the politics of punk than the fashion. Anyhow, one of these kids was Jenny Nickles (misspelling intentionally); daughter of the famous film director Mike Nickles. He's probably most famous for directing The Graduate and being married to Dianne Sawyer. Jenny had a short stint as an actress; she's in my all-time favorite Woody Allen movie: Crimes and Misdemeanors. Anyhow, she was cool. I only really hung out with her once; a bunch of us went to see Reservoir Dogs when it first came out.

A buddy of mind told me who she was. The story around the office was that she was estranged from her father. She had rejected her ruling-class lifestyle and was determined to epater la bourgeoisie. She lived in a building with no electricity or running water and when her father tried to help her out, she ripped up his $300,000 check! So I'm at a bar one night and I meet a woman and somehow this story comes up. I tell her the whole bit, just as I described above. We exchange numbers and the next day I get a call from some British guy from The Globe! He tells me that they want to run the story about Jenny ripping up the check. Would I be the unnamed source, he asks me. I said no way--not interested, sorry. He says, "Well, you will be compensated, sir." I reconsidered temporarily and asked how much. I think it was like a thousand bucks or so. I decided against it because, a) I still worked there with her; b) I didn't even know if it was true; and c) it all was so unseemly. I guess at the end of the day I'm a relatively principled person.

Harmonic Hood Music

RIP, Eunice Kennedy Shriver

I realize this is yesterday's news, but I wanted to pay tribute to a great woman. Shriver's biggest claim to fame (beyond her maiden name) was founding the Special Olympics. I was flipping through some photos of the funeral and noticed a large number of S.O. athletes were in attendance. Initially I found it poignant that they wanted to pay respect to their great patron and champion.But I was aghast when I zoomed in on the second photo. One of the athletes appears to have a Dead Kennedys patch affixed to the front of his tracksuit. Now, someone no doubt planted this patch on the unsuspecting olympian, right? Maybe a group opposed to S.O.-funding was trying to discredit those with special needs. I'm not sure who's responsible--but in any event, it's unconscionable. Reminds me of that scene in The Hand that Rocks the Cradle when Rebecca De Mornay plants the daughter's underwear in Ernie Hudson's toolbox.

Gymskie

I work out at USF's Koret Gym near my house. It's a nice gym but they have lots of rules. Most of them make sense but others seem a little unnecessary. There's a bunch of signs that say "No jeans allowed in Cardio Alley." Jeans seem an odd choice for workout wear but why ban them? And why is the ban only applicable to Cardio Alley? Then, in the weight room, there's a sign that says "Do not leave personal items in one space while you work out. You must move keys and magazines and other items with you from station to station." Seems arbitrary and draconian.

One rule that I think is good applies to the locker room. It says "Out of respect for other members, once you've finished drying off, please wrap yourself in a towel immediately." I've worked out at a number of gyms where this rule should be in place. Like at Northpoint's 24 hour fitness. There was an elderly man with a pony tail who carried a crude walking stick with him out of the shower. He would handle all manner of his grooming completely naked. Took like an hour sometimes. And I watched every minute of it. Lardy, don't you party with that guy? I think I saw you two--along with the garbage bag showerer--at the Ocean beach windmills once.

I grew up with some real comedians

Like one time I was hanging out with my friend Marty. I left the room and didn't realize it until my mom had called and left a message the next day, but he had changed my outgoing message on my answering machine to this:

Hi, you've reached The Violator--America's first all-male gay hotline. If you'd like to get it on with two horny ballplayers in the dugout, press one NOW; if you'd like to party with a hot and leathery gang of musty, mustachoied bikers, press two now; and if you've always wondered what it was like with your hot naked grandfather figure, press three now...

There were some other ones I wish I could remember. He was obsessed with phone sex. When those lines first came out he called me and said hey, can you call me back at my Grandmother's? He gave me a 976 number and I didn't even question it because it was a just another prefix at the time. He also told me when he was staying at some weird boarding house he had made friends with a bunch of Japanese exchange students who were living there. He said he called a bunch of those numbers on his friend Sayuri's phone. I was like, aww man, that's fucked up--what if she asks you about it? He said she wouldn't even notice or understand the charges. He was probably right.

Why do I love the Castro?

Probably the subtelty...the mysteriousness.