'I Want Monopoly for Christmas'

Well, if that's the case, then you needn't look any further than your local christmas tree lot. Because one outfit appears to have "the game on lock" as they say in the hip hop parlance. That's right my friends, the monopoly appears to be alive and well in the US of A--thriving, in fact--in the form of Delancey Street Christmas Trees (DSCT).

DSCT operates in every state with very little competition. The competition they do have is routinely subjected to strongarm tactics and often forced to shut down. According to an affidavit on file with the Better Holiday Business Bureau (BHBB), a watchdog group committed to prosecuting nefarious pumpkin patch and tree lot operators, one man was tarred and feathered, humiliated in front of the townsfolk and run out of town.

Now, I know what you all are thinking and I'm well aware of DSCT's mission statement--they are a charitable organization pledged to assisting recovering substance abusers by providing them with a clean start--this is a noble goal. But DSCT has grown far too big for its own good. As Lord Acton once said "power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely." I suggest we open the industry up to other players
--let's not be so single-mindedly devoted to one afflicted group. What about recovering pedophiles or compulsive gamblers? What about cult group escapees? Battered women? The sexually abused children of polygamists? It's important that we level the playing field of the beleagured... and on it we shall plant seedlings that will one day grow into non-Delancey Street trees.