Hella

Ball Security

No, this isn't my coming-out post. What inspired this homoerotic piece was a comment I overheard from someone in passing: She's so beautiful she'd make Tom of Finland go straight. Tom of Finland is the name of the artist who drew that picture. Anyhow I just thought that was a funny comment and it had been churning in the hopper when I was watching some football and the announcer says "this team needs to improve their ball security..." So then I was thinking of ways to graphically use that term and Tom seemed like a sure bet. I knew Tom loved a man in uniform so a quick search was all I needed to find a suitable image.

Also discovered a great new free font you see used in the piece: REZ. Not sure if it even works here but I love it! Sorry for the sucky arrangement of lettering underneath that eagle logo. Couldn't figure out how to make it wavy.

This site is bonkers

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My oddball sense of humor

So I'm sitting through a 3-hour orientation at my work, in which all the new folks listen to the heads of each department give a spiel about what they do. So the HR lady gets up and she's talking about where to find medical supplies:

If you go to to the third floor by the elevators there's a closet full of every first-aid item you could imagine. Also, you'll notice a large collection of paperback books to the right of the medical supplies. These are books that employees have donated over the years--so if you'll be flying and need something to read, go grab a book!

So I cut in and say What about e-books?

Everyone turns and looks at me not knowing what to think--the HR lady is confused obviously. They don't know I'm joking because I asked very dryly, not giving anything away, not even a knowing smile. Keep in mind this is about a 1.5 second period. I couldn't hold it in anymore and I say "I'm kidding!" The HR lady said something like "you had me going there for a second." I think one guy laughed--everyone else just moved on. There might've been one small additional chuckle. I was laughing hysterically trying to keep it in. So my question is, is that even funny? Why is that funny to me? I guess because it's such a stupid question--who would ask that? And the resulting confusion, while awkward, is funny too--but probably not the best setting for joke like that. But its very inappropriateness is what makes the joke so funny to me.

This is the kind of thing that drives my wife crazy. Like one time we were on a flight and the stewardess asks me if I would be willing to take on the role of emergency door opening warden as I was sitting near the door. I nodded my head yes. And she says no sir, you have to answer verbally. So I say that I only communicate non-verbally (obviously contradicting myself if I'm verbalizing that sentence) and she got pissed! I forget what she said but I quickly said I was joking and that yes I would be the warden. That really pissed my wife off. Not the right context--the stewardess was obviously in a rush and in no mood for bullshit. Anyhow, I heard her the stewardess talking shit about me to one of her stewardess buddies! Then I got pissed. I think I intentionally swung my bag into her as I pulled it from the overhead bin. That was a great moment. I'm kidding! Not about the whole story but about the bag part.