I once had a housemate back in my nicoise salad days who I'll call Jeanette. We had dated very briefly before she moved into my apartment. There was absolutely no spark between us so we just started hanging out as friends. There wasn't much of a platonic connection either; I think we both were just very lonely and lost and unhappy so we bonded over that. So one time we go out to dinner at Barney's and we're eating our burgers and our deep-fried vegetable basket and I remarked to her that I liked her sister whom I'd just met. I said that she seemed so much different than her (basically a more outgoing and confident and fun version of her although I didn't use those exact words). So the conversation begins to segue to her personality and why she is the way she is, i.e., guarded and an "empty vessel" as my friend called her after he met her. She then asks me "I'll tell you why I'm like this but I have to warn you I'm going to cry." I told her that maybe she shouldn't tell me. Although in my defense I think I did say you can tell me another time. Whenever I tell this story people always say how fucked up that was of me. What do you d-bags think? I personally agree. Very cold and heartless. Pubic displays of humanity and emotion scare me. If we had been at home, no problem. Anyhow, beyond me being a huge a-hole, what do you think the story was? I never did find out. Was it sexual abuse of some kind? Had to be, right? Wow--in that moment I am a colossally callous cocksucker. I'll grant you that.
2 comments:
Sexual abuse was the first thing I thought of. I've know people who walks the same path and it's never a surprise when they tell me why. Sometimes, it's better to pass on it when they ask you if you want to know why.
I don't think you were colossally callous -- you just didn't want an awkward display of emotion in a public place. The fact that you would have let her share her story at home (or in a private location) shows you're not cold and heartless.
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