DP Confessionals

Little-known fact: I once owned two non-Apple MP3 players! Can you believe that shit? This was back in early-'03 or so--before Apple launched their relentless blitzkrieg of marcom for the iPod. The iPod was on my radar but I thought it was a Mac-exclusive product so I didn't even think of buying one. I went to the Stonestown Circuit City and my girlfriend at the time (wife now) purchased the Philips HDD100 for me (I was unemployed at the time, thanks Vick!):I actually liked the HDD100, at least the way looked. It was a sleek, sexy piece of gadgetry, but it broke down within a month or so. So I went back to Circuit City and they didn't have another HDD in stock so they gave me a Rio Karma:Didn't like the look of this one so much; and because of the black void of marketing for this product, I had little faith that the Rio wouldn't go the way of the HDD100 or the dinosaurs. Karma's a bitch, right? You can say that again, because within a couple months, this one petered out on me as well. One thing I did like though, was the typeface used for the Rio. To me, it evokes medieval times and the Conan the Barbarian title sequence. Don't you just see the name "Dino De Laurentiis" when you look at it?

So I try my luck with another Circuit City, the one on Van Ness, and I meet a young man named Carlton. This guy was a real pro. Initially, he told me they didn't have a similar product available for exchange. But, he told me a bunch of iPods were arriving at the store shortly and that he would give me one of those! By now, the iPod billboards were all up and Apple had successfully fetishized this new device; I had to have one--and Carlton was giving me one! I remember calling Carlton every day. He was patient with me each time. He would say, "No, Mr. Porter, the iPods haven't arrived yet. I've already earmarked one of the new arrivals for you. I'll call you when it comes in." At this point, I was so giddy and delirious at the thought of my new life with pod that I could hardly bear it. "I have a feeling Carlton's going to call today," I'd say to my wife with this enormous grin on my face. Vicky noticed a behavioral shift when I talked about it and it scared her. She'd try to talk me down and hold my hand. "Is your hand sweating?" It was! My heart was racing, too. I felt overly excited--almost unbalanced or unhinged. So I finally get the call from Carlton and we drive to Circuit City after work. I walk in there and I still didn't believe that I'd be a proud iPod owner within minutes. Somehow, somebody would step in and nullify the unwritten agreement between me and Carlton. "You're giving this man an iPod in exchange for a faulty Rio Karma? No way--let's steer him towards a Microsoft Zune." Never happened. I tracked down Carlton and he handed me me this beautiful box:I was in shock--I showered him with praise and gratitude and even tried to drop a red-hot twomper ($20 bill) in his shirt pocket! He politely declined my gratuity. Guess he felt it was gratuitous. As is this long rant of a posting, so I'll stop here!